


Flesh and Boners

by rudbeckia



Category: LEGO Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Issues, Diary/Journal, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, POV Armitage Hux, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:41:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudbeckia/pseuds/rudbeckia
Summary: I am logging my personal encounters with SL Ren for future reference. At some point I am sure I will require evidence of his lack of professionalism when dealing one to one with senior officers such as myself. I hope others are doing the same.Armitage Hux keeps a log of all the times he encounters Supreme Leader Kylo Ren in a state of undress. But does Kylo Ren have a reason to show off his physique to his closest general?You bet he does.(polished twitfic)
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 26
Kudos: 119





	Flesh and Boners

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renisafuck!ngcunt  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: strong

Text entry:

I am logging my personal encounters with SL Ren for future reference. At some point I am sure I will require evidence of his lack of professionalism when dealing one to one with senior officers such as myself. I hope others are doing the same. I dropped hints to a few of them about his lack of decorum but got blank stares rather than knowing looks.

I went to SL Ren’s chambers before dinner this evening to obtain his approval for additional budgetary allowances for recruitment. He was in a state of partial undress and made no effort to conceal his flesh from my view. In fact, I believe he was flaunting himself. I made an excuse and left. The sight quite put me off my evening meal of protein shake and I was out of sorts all evening. The Supreme Leader should be setting an example of modesty for the entire First Order, not parading around with his chest on display.

I recovered my appetite in due course and ordered from the senior officers’ cantina. They had a most acceptable beefcake on the menu.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renisafuck!ngcunt  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: strong

This morning by prior arrangement (I commed SL Ren in advance) I went to SL Ren’s chambers to get him to sign off on my latest engineering plans. When I opened his door, I was immediately confronted by the sight of Ren’s naked back and shoulders as he performed some kind of exercise routine. He made me walk right up to him so that he could place his thumb over the bioreader on my datapad. I was so close that I could see the way his muscles moved under his skin and the way perspiration beaded on his chest. The sight was so disturbing that I simply could not look away.

I immediately returned to my own chambers to process the relevant paperwork for my project and to obtain for myself a tall glass of water.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renisast!nkymoofmilker  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: secure

This is beyond a joke now. SL Ren himself invited me to pop over to his chambers with anything I thought merited his personal attention, so I took my latest stormtrooper training plans for his approval. I had hoped to stimulate a productive discussion of efficient deployment of dwindling resources and get my recruitment budget increased, but upon entering Ren’s rooms I was exposed to the sight of Ren’s entirely naked torso and forced to wait while he completed another fifty push ups. The room was very warm and I felt my head begin to spin.

And then, as he signed off on my plans and asked me to bring him an updated recruitment timeline, he flexed his left arm and demanded to know if I thought he was gaining muscle mass! What did he expect me to do? I stared, dry-mouthed, for a few seconds. Then I turned around and marched out.

After waiting for so long in a hot room with Ren displaying himself wantonly without even realising the discomfort it caused me, I took a cold shower and indulged in a little self-massage to ease my own aching muscles.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0rensm3llsl!keabantha  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: very secure

Of course I prepared the recruitment timeline Ren asked for and took it to him as soon as I had recovered my own natural poise. It was quite late so I commed him first to say I would bring it in the morning, but he replied, “show me what you’ve got” so I hurried straight over. In my haste I may have forgotten to put on my command cap and my hair was swept back but held only by residual dampness from my recent shower, so as it dried a few strands fell over my face. But no matter. I arranged myself as best I could and knocked on the door rather than walk in like I normally would.

The door opened immediately and Ren stood there, flagrantly flaunting his flesh once more! He had clearly also taken a shower recently because his skin was a delicate rosy-pink and I could feel warmth when he beckoned me closer. His hair looked especially glossy and curled at the ends. However, I diverted my gaze down to avoid staring at his pectoral region, skin pimpling into gooseflesh and nipples hardening in the cold draught when he stood under the air recirculator.

It did not help. He was wearing only a large towel wrapped so low on his hips I could see the v-shape of his abdominals, and I imagined it would take only the slightest of tugs to send it fluttering to the floor and leave his ventral cannon exposed, as it were. I closed my eyes to make the vision vanish but this only made matters worse as Ren stood there, almost naked, interrogating me on my recruitment plan.

I have never been so lost for words in my entire life. I could barely string a coherent sentence together and I cannot for the life of me remember anything I said to him in my desperation not to say anything I might regret.

This has to stop. I will find a way of delicately asking the other senior officers if the Supreme Leader also taunts them with his naked body when he summons them to his chambers.

EDIT? Y/N: Y  
I remembered one thing. Right before I fled, Ren reached his hand out. I stood rigid in case I was in for another choking but he brushed the hair from in front of my eyes and tucked it aside.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renherdsn3rfs  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: most secure

I am at a loss. Despite all my most skilful, careful probing, I have not been able to ascertain whether other officers are expected to endure the sight of SL Ren’s naked body. Parnadee scowled at me and said that she has never been summoned to the SL’s private chambers at all and suggested in an extremely lewd manner that I should make use of this privilege.

Quinn sneers whenever I meet with him (delete later: add him to Opan’s list) so I did not provoke his scorn any further. Admiral Griss seemed to be having trouble understanding exactly what I was talking about and suggested that I set aside specific office hours for meeting with the SL.

Perhaps, like me, they are all too flummoxed by SL Ren’s wilful nudity to speak of it. I have a scheduled meeting with Ren later today. He cannot possibly have an excuse to be wearing less than his full regalia in the middle of the afternoon.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renhasearsl!keagundark  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: most secure

How wrong could I have been. At the last minute, Ren changed the location of our meeting from the small conference room near the command centre to the physical training facility on the officers’ habitation deck. I hate to be late so I ran, and therefore was a little out of breath and flustered.

Kylo ordered me to wait while he finished his training routine. I endured the sight of him whirling around with his lightsaber flashing and buzzing, dropping into a low stance and springing up again in a shower of red sparks as his aim found one of the training droids.

I must admit that the sight of such an impressively built man displaying so much raw power was quite mesmerising and I was almost sorry when he finished. He asked me to accompany him into the changing room and deliver a status report while he used the hygiene facility.

I expected him to pick up his towel and normal clothing and take them into the cubicle with him to undress, use the sonic, then dress again with due regard to modesty. Given Ren’s behaviour towards me, I should have known better. I was forced to look as Ren stripped off his training clothes and paraded across the changing area to the sonics quite nude. He left the door open while I did my best to reel off all the daily figures with my eyes fixed on the grout between the floor tiles. When he came out of the sonic, still nude, he asked me to pass him his clothing one item at a time while he dressed slowly.

This was difficult to do without looking at Ren’s body and I must confess that I know more about his stature than I really should.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renishungl!keah4ppabore  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: most secure

I have been tormented by nightmares about SL Ren since seeing him in a state of complete undress, sashaying out of the sonics with his REDACTED swinging with every step. In my nightmare, I am once more summoned to Ren’s chambers and he is once more nude. But instead of simply displaying his body to distract my mind and give me an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, in my dream he invites me to place my hands on the flats of his pectorals and feel the warm skin and firm muscle beneath. In my dream, he undresses me and I do nothing to stop him as he backs me against the wall and

and then I wake up and have to call a service droid to take my laundry.

I am so affected by these nightmares that even the thought of going to Ren’s chambers gives me a very specific and localised sensation of discomfort, which I have to relieve in private.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renishungl!keah4ppabore  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: supreme

I sent Mitaka to one meeting (he reported that the SL was fully dressed) and Opan to another (fully dressed again) but I could not avoid Kylo Ren for long. He commed me to say that he would come to my chambers to discuss personnel changes at the highest level. I said my chambers were not suitable but he insisted that my chambers were the most secure location in the entire fleet. He is not wrong: I have over the years made sure that no one can eavesdrop or in any way surprise me in my own rooms.

I decided to play Ren at his own game.

I took a shower and dressed only in my most revealing robe (the black floor-length one with the knife pleats and long sleeves) and waited for Ren to arrive. I admit to a little thrill of excitement that I would get some revenge and perhaps provoke in Ren the same physical discomfort that the sight of him in a state of undress has provoked in me so many times.

His response was not at all what I expected.

First, when the door slid open and he walked in and saw me standing with my feet, hands and a little vee below my neck exposed, he stoped and stared. I thought I had won, but then he laughed! Embarrassed by his ridicule, I wanted a black hole to appear beneath my feet and...

No. I wanted a black hole to appear beneath HIS feet and suck him in like so much spaghetti. But he saw my scowl, stopped laughing and asked if we could both sit on my sofa to discuss a reshuffle of the command council.

Of course I agreed. During the discussion (I can take Quinn off Opan’s list—it turns out Ren wants to dispose of him personally as an example to the others) I warmed to him a little more. I may have crossed my legs and caused the smooth silk to slip off my knee, exposing the full length of my shin and my calf. It was purely accidental that the next time I shifted in my seat I revealed a few inches of thigh too. I leaned forwards and noticed that Ren’s gaze diverted to the opening of my robe where it gaped a little at my neck.

I was delighted, but I displayed none of my glee. I apologised for my lack of uniform and told Ren that I assumed he would not mind since he was clearly comfortable with being out of uniform himself. I expected this would perhaps bring a flush of shame to Ren’s cheeks.

Ren has no shame.

He began to disrobe in front of me. I sat forwards with my arms in my lap to try to hide my growing discomfort but he seemed to take this as encouragement and listed the names of generals and admirals he thought ought to be terminally retired as he shed layer after layer.

I tried not to look. I failed.

Once he was down to his final garment—his bulging leggings—he ordered me to stand up and face him. I saw no option but to obey and the cord of my gown, loosened by my squirming around on the sofa, failed me completely. My robe fell open.

The Supreme Leader glanced down at my erection poking out from between the pleats of my robe and he smiled. “I see you are having a hard time,” he quipped.  
I snarled and he shivered. “So are you,” I retorted, and in my annoyance I cupped my hand around the bulge in his leggings.

I am not entirely sure of the sequence of events that followed. I do know that after a short tussle SL Ren lost his leggings and my robe fell off my shoulders and hung from my elbows. I believe we wrestled until, yelling every insult I could think of, I grabbed his buttocks with both hands and he yelled back that he was going to shut me up.

He kissed me. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren held my head still in those huge, warm paws and kissed me. I am ashamed to confess that instead of pushing him away, I kissed him back, gripped his arse tighter and moved my hips against his until I thought my brain and my groin were going to swap places.

When we got dressed again (my robe is ruined but he agreed to buy me a new one) Ren did the strangest thing.

He kissed me again.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renishungl!keah4ppabore  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: supreme

SL Ren summoned me to a meeting in his chambers at the end of dorn shift yesterday. I explained that this is when I generally have a meal break and he told me to cancel my order of protein shake, this was more important. I made sure my uniform was correct and remembered my cap.

I steeled myself when I heard the door unlatch and open, but Ren was fully dressed. My disappointment surprised me and I must have reacted, because Ren gave a tiny laugh as he stood aside to let me inside. I snapped that I hoped this was a short meeting because I was hungry. He laughed again and gripped my shoulders gently from behind, steering me deeper into his domain.

Instead of the pedestal bearing his disgusting tray of ashes and half-melted Vader relic, there was a table set for dinner.

I demanded to know the agenda for our meeting. Ren replied that item 1 was to eat, item 2 was to talk, and (if I wanted) “AOB” could take place in his bedroom. I was too stunned to reply and sat down meekly, unable to get my thoughts in order.

We shared the officers’ cantina casserole (I think it was nerf but you can never be quite sure) and Ren informed me that he had reached the conclusion that he and I should work closely together for the good of the First Order.

Of course I agreed to that. When he added that he knows I find him physically attractive and that he reciprocates that feeling, I coughed up a piece of lung (nerf, from the casserole). Red faced and with my eyes streaming from almost choking on my food, I demanded to know why he was teasing me.

He frowned at me and conversation stopped until we had finished eating. I thought he was trying to think up excuses for his appalling behaviour. Imagine! The SL invited me over, fully dressed, gave me dinner and talked about feelings!

I thanked Ren for dinner and got up to leave. He escorted me to the door and asked if there was any other business. I said no and returned to my chambers to think.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renismyfuck!ngcunt  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: supreme

I am carefully considering my options. Either Kylo Ren is playing me to keep me in line or he is genuinely attracted to me. I can’t allow myself to believe that. Can I?

I commed him to say I have one item of AOB if he would like to discuss it.

He’ll be here any second.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renis!nsatiable  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: supreme-extra

He arrived last night just after I closed my screen.  
“What did you want to discuss?” he asked. He seemed wary. I’ve never seen him look so uncertain.  
“What is this?” I asked. “What is going on?”  
He shrugged and pouted a little and said, “I like you. I think you like me too.”

We stared at each other in silence for about a minute. Then he said, “We had some pretty bad sex the other night but it was nice to make that connection. You felt it too.”

I bit my lips and frowned at him. I suppose that was sex. I didn’t know it was bad sex, though. It was better than  
Never mind that.

I said that I wanted to know the truth and that if he was lying about liking me I could handle it. If he just wanted sex and picked me because I’m available and lonely then I was okay with that. He looked at me oddly and said that he really did find me attractive but thought I was a stuck up asshole.

I stared at him for a few seconds then (and I have no idea why) we both started laughing.

I told the Supreme Leader of the galaxy that he was a _jumped up space-wizard with no manners,_ and he laughed louder.  
He told me I was a _greasy, slippery little space-weasel_ and I laughed louder too.

And then, without meaning for it to happen, my lips were on his and his arms were around my waist and we were kissing.

UserID: GenAHux  
Password: Kyl0renismysexyjumpedupspacew!zard  
New entry? Y/N: Y  
Encryption: supreme-extra

We took our AOB to my bedroom. We had sleepy AOB in the small hours when we both woke up. There was even more AOB after my alarm went off and Kylo crushed it with the Force. He said he’d get me a new one.

Then there was more AOB when we tried to get in the sanisteam together and Kylo suggested that he cancel all his plans and mine because we had “urgent any other business” all day. I think that was a joke so I said no, but I have scheduled a meeting with him in my rooms after dinner.

He accepted.  
There is only one agenda item, but I hope it takes all night.


End file.
